Poker Crush Forums
Banter and Bitchin' - General Chat + Questions and Answers - Where did our Guru go?
valeria - 04.05.2007, 10:03
Post subject: Where did our Guru go?
He's disappeared! Where did he go?
kaska321 - 04.05.2007, 18:42
Post subject: ?
Vacation ??
valeria - 04.05.2007, 19:08
Post subject:
Maybe we should write one of those mystery stories about what happened to our Guru.
To begin:
We were all sitting around a cozy fire playing poker. Our generous host PokerGuru was making drinks and snacks in the kitchen.
We were all involved in the poker game and time flew by when someone noticed our PokerGuru was in the kitchen a very long time.
One of the PC players left to go see if he needed help and came running back in yelling, "HE'S GONE!! I can't find him!!"
We all rushed into the kitchen to see drinks half made, popcorn popped but not put in a bowl... as if he just vanished in the middle of everything.
Someone had an idea...
Bower50 - 04.05.2007, 20:02
Post subject:
Maybe he was kidnapped by another poker forum to torture and get all
his poker secrets.How do we find out?
spookth - 04.05.2007, 20:31
Post subject:
Several PC'ers went outside to see if they could see the Guru anywhere. To their absolute horror, they gazed across the lake and could see a half a dozen playing cards floating on the Lake. We all knew that the Guru always carried a spare deck in his pocket.
valeria - 04.05.2007, 20:35
Post subject:
spookth started wading into the water with a fish net to gather up as many cards as he could. Maybe they held a clue?
kaska321 - 04.05.2007, 20:53
Post subject: Lol
Lake ,cards.... it still sounds like vacation to me ....lol
Bower50 - 04.05.2007, 21:12
Post subject:
Four of the cards collected had letters scratched into them.
They were GOTB.Bower says"I know them.That's Bee12o3's
Gamble On The Boardwalk forum.''
Before anything could be decided a ransom note was delivered
by a yahoo.It read..........
ALW01 - 04.05.2007, 23:49
Post subject:
We have your Poker Guru.
At the moment, he is well.
No harm will come to him, and he will be returned safely, as long as you PCer's do exactly what we say.
Do not inform the authoritie's. We are watching you.
HERE ARE OUR DEMAND'S................
****
****
Bower50 - 05.05.2007, 00:03
Post subject:
FIRST-We want a copy of all of Guru's poker lessons.
SECOND-.......
kaska321 - 05.05.2007, 00:46
Post subject: Second
Second... we want answers to all future contest questions...
Third ....
valeria - 05.05.2007, 00:51
Post subject:
You must all desist immediately any poker playing tournaments where one of our OWN members are playing. (We don't want any unfair advantage from PC'ers.)
All the PC'ers looked at one another in disbelief....
Bower50 - 05.05.2007, 01:29
Post subject:
Valeria sent a pm to GOTB administration that we DO NOT negotiate with terrorists.
Let's do some good thinking and figure out a solution.
ALW01 - 05.05.2007, 06:41
Post subject:
Meanwhile, back at the Poker-Crush Forum, Poker Guru's loyal follower's had found another clue......
Bee12o3 - 05.05.2007, 13:46
Post subject:
Quote: › Maybe he was kidnapped by another poker forum to torture and get all
his poker secrets.How do we find out?
It wasn't me Bower I promise!! lol
ALW01 - 05.05.2007, 14:05
Post subject:
T.E.L.L. U.S W.H.E.R.E. O.U.R. P.O.K.E.R. G.U.R.U. I.S.
B--E--E--1--2--O--3
valeria - 05.05.2007, 15:20
Post subject:
Everyone gathered together to look over the clues so far. They all decided the best course of action was to search the grounds and house for any and all clues they could find.
After hours of searching they all gathered into the kitchen to show what they find.
One person found a Royal Crown. Another a bing ball. Another a pair of glasses.
This was more serious than they thought. RoyalCrush's crown, OC's bingo ball and Geno's glasses.
All the administration from PC and CC were GONE!! Disappeared!
Who could have DONE this? Where were they????
Bower50 - 05.05.2007, 15:20
Post subject:
I know one thing we can do.Boycot GOTB's tournies until they
tell us where Guru is.Al sent the message to Bee getting this as a reply............
valeria - 05.05.2007, 15:22
Post subject:
Sorry for the typo's in previous post LOL
find = found
bing = bingo
spookth - 05.05.2007, 15:53
Post subject:
The return message was sent in a large wooden crate. ALW pryed the crate open and the whole room filled ith the foulest acrid smelling smoke. A huge muscular demon appeared that seemed to fill the room with his presence. He pulled a flaming fiddle from thin air and began to play the most horrible sounding tune. He spoke in a huge booming voice that sent fear through everyone.
" I am BEE1203,
I have your Guru here with me,
Your Geno, Royal, and OC
Are in my dungeon, and can't be freed.
I have them chained against my wall
I will not let them go at all,
Until our forums meet to play
And GOTB rules the day.
So gather your players one and all,
Theres a table ready at the wall,
There is where I'll get my wish,
And prove that all PC'ers are fish.
With those words the demon Bee1203 roared with ear shattering laughter"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA" and disappeared.
valeria - 05.05.2007, 15:56
Post subject:
(spooketh that was great!!! hahah so inspired!) continue on fellow PC'ers!
Bower50 - 05.05.2007, 16:14
Post subject:
The winning forum gets to keep Geno,Royal,OC and Guru.
Eight players gathered around the table.PC had Valeria,Al,Beckie
and Kaska.GOTB team was Bee,Piet and the two-timing traitors
Bower and Spook.The cards were dealt and.............
allight - 05.05.2007, 16:40
Post subject:
When the always astute Bower noticed something fishy about the dealer and after some embarassing investigating discovered is was allight in drag!!! He was trying to fix the game as dealer!!! But whose side was he trying to fix it for?........
Bower50 - 05.05.2007, 16:59
Post subject:
After 2 hours of playing it looked like Allight was favoring GOTB and their bright yellow and black tshirts.Bee and Spook were the 2 top stacks followed closely by Valeria,Bower,Piet Kaska,ALW and Beckie.It was looking bad for PCers in their red and blue muscle shirts.
ALW01 - 05.05.2007, 19:35
Post subject:
" What are we doing ? " ,
" How can this be happening to us ? "
and
" I don't believe it! " were the crie's of the Crusher Crew.
" We need help ! "
" We need guidance ! "
" We need our Poker Guru ! " they wailed.
Then a very familiar and reassuring voice said calmly,
" My Crusher's, I believe in you, now its time to believe in yourselve's."
It was Poker Guru, he was in his self-meditative hypnotastical psychotransluceant state of out-of-bodiness that he uses before big tourney'sl , and blind date's
" Listen to me, have I ever lied to you, or given you any reason to mistrust me, in any way ? Have faith in me and my words. "
I say " YOU CAN DO IT "
" Show the world how this beautiful game should really be played."
" My prodige's, show the world, Beautiful Poker. "
Bower50 - 05.05.2007, 20:26
Post subject:
This awesome experience motivated the PCers amazingly.Piet was put out in the next 30 minutes.However Bee,Bower and Spook still were winning.Bower and Spook were tough since they were trained by the Guru too.Bee then rivered Kaska and there was 3 left per team.
ALW01 - 05.05.2007, 21:35
Post subject:
The Crusher team, spurred on by their teacher's calm reassurance and wise word's,
together with the overwhelming pride that being a Crusher, and wearing the Crusher colour's gave them,
slowly began to get back on term's with this no-good bunch of dirty double crosser's.
spookth - 05.05.2007, 21:39
Post subject:
The next hand was down to the turn, Bee and Valeria were the only two left in. Bee had bet large after the flop but checked on the turn. Valeria sensing weakness in Bee's play went All-in. To Valerias horror,Bee called. Bee's trap had worked and her Trip Queens beat Valeria's Queens over Tens. This left 3 on GOTB and 2 PC'ers. Things were looking bleak for the PC'ers.
spookth - 05.05.2007, 21:44
Post subject:
BEE's Demonic Laughter could be heard for miles around...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....."Poker supremacy shall belong to the boardwalk...." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....
Bower50 - 05.05.2007, 21:57
Post subject:
Allight looking sexy as hell in that black satin and lace evening gown dealt the next hand.Bee and ALW were going at it.Bee very confidently went all in and ALW quickly called her.Bee's ace high flush couldn't beat ALW's boat.It was now 2 on 2.GOTB still had the 2 big stacks,Bower and Spook.
Beckie and ALW still looked very confident sitting there.
Bee's demonic laughter could still be heard.
valeria - 05.05.2007, 23:11
Post subject:
Everyone sat quiet and still wondering what the outcome would be. Could they save their precious administators and Guru?
Everyone tensed as the next round began. The cards were dealt...
Suddenly the lights went out! Someone screamed. Everyone scrambled to get the lights back on.
The light blinded everyone for a moment as they looked around in confusion and saw....
spookth - 05.05.2007, 23:22
Post subject:
There was ALW and Beckie in their Red and Blue PC muscle shirts......and the Demonic Bee screamed the most horrible scream as she saw Bower and Spook sitting at the table in the same positions as before.......but their yellow and black GOTB outfits were gone and replaced with PC Red and Blue PC muscle shirts. Yes....all that were left sitting at the Poker table were 4 Poker-Crush poker players. Her evil scheme had failed miserably!!!
spookth - 05.05.2007, 23:26
Post subject:
But what of that dealer with the dress on?????????????
Bower50 - 05.05.2007, 23:30
Post subject:
Allight slowly and very provocatively tore away the dress
revealing his Red and Blue PC boxer shorts.
PC dominated the tournie to win back our administrators,however..........
valeria - 06.05.2007, 01:46
Post subject:
Suspicions were aroused. Why did the turncoats suddenly switch sides again? Was this another scheme?
Bee swore vengence and grabbed the the dress and vanished into the night. Everyone looked at each other in astonishment. Bee left but nobody knew now what was to become of our Guru, Geno, OC, and Royal.
Would they be returned? Kept forever in chains?
A plot was hatched to invade and rescue but no one was sure where the hideout was.
Everyone turned to look at Bower and spookth waiting to hear their explanations of why they were seemingly on Bee's side... were they party to the kidnapping? Was this another trick?
Bower50 - 06.05.2007, 03:09
Post subject:
Spook and I went undercover to find out where their hideout was.
That ''yahoo" that delivered the ransom was a clue.We did a search for GOTB in the Yahoo search engine and found.............
PokerGuru - 06.05.2007, 03:35
Post subject:
God, I love you guys and gals!
When I have said, "Carry on", before, you always did. But to do so when I didn't have the opportunity to tell you is AMAZING!!
I have actually been out on the pro circuit, making sure I would play enough games against the best players to make this year's WSOP. NOW THAT IS GUARENTEED! I have another CHANCE to bring the world championship home to PC!
The first thing I saw when I got home and logged back in was this story! I AM SO PROUD THAT YOU FIGURED A WAY to keep things going in my absence!!!!!!!! That means so much to me.
I hate to leave for spells like that, but I DO have to keep up in the pro league. You guys pay the price for me working two jobs.
Playing as well as instructing. I AM sorry.
Your story fascinated me and I had to read it thru.
But now, I guess I'd better announce the winners for the last few contests!!!!!!!
GREAT GOING, my loyal and dependable ones. That is why PC is #1!!!!!!!!!!!
With love and gratitude,
Your Guru
Bower50 - 06.05.2007, 03:59
Post subject:
No need to apologize Guru.We fully understand your absences and
appreciate every moment you give to us.Like the saying says:
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" 
allight - 06.05.2007, 17:04
Post subject:
Love the story so much I can't add anything to improve it...just want to "read" it unfold.....but please, bower, don't talk about my sexy evening wear and follow it with Bee and Al going at it.....almost too much to take!
Keep the gripping story going!!!!
ALW01 - 06.05.2007, 17:06
Post subject:
Absolutely priceless,
I love it here
Bower50 - 06.05.2007, 19:01
Post subject:
........that Bee had a very busy forum with lotsa places to search.
Upon entering her Poker Pavilion I saw a very strange posting.It was titled..........
ALW01 - 07.05.2007, 05:07
Post subject:
ACME'S COMPLETE GUIDE
TO TAKING OVER THE CYBERWORLD BY NEXT MONDAY
IN THREE EASY STEP'S
ALW01 - 07.05.2007, 05:27
Post subject:
STEP ONE
KIDNAP THOSE NO-IT-ALL DO-GOODER'S, POKER GURU AND GENO
AND THAT LITTLE MISS GOODY-TWO-SHOE'S, ORANGE CRUSH
ALW01 - 07.05.2007, 10:55
Post subject:
STEP TWO
SPIKE BOTH SPOOKTH'S AND BOWER50'S MORNING CUPPA
WITH MY NEWLY INVENTED LOYALTY DRUG,
SO THEY SWITCH THEIR ALLEGIANCE'S TO ME.
OrangeCrush - 07.05.2007, 12:00
Post subject:
Oh My God you Guys are Great!!!! Excellent story!!! lol Well except one small part .... "AND THAT LITTLE MISS GOODY-TWO-SHOE'S, ORANGE CRUSH" ..... boy have you got that part ALL wrong!!! 
ROFLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Great Job Kids!!! lmaoooooooooo
ALW01 - 07.05.2007, 12:31
Post subject:
Sorry,
Maybe I should have said,
"that mischeviuosly minded so and so,"
Bower50 - 07.05.2007, 13:57
Post subject:
Bee had accomplished step one but Bower and Spook were much too
astute to allow Bee to drug their drinks.They were able to switch drinks with Bee and Kats who is one of Bee's partners in crime.They confessed that our administrators were being kept in their Under The Boardwalk
forum.To obtain the password to there you had to get it from Krypto who was nowhere to be found.
ALW01 - 07.05.2007, 15:25
Post subject:
We put a special post on the PC forum to ask everyone to search for Krypto. And everyone did, because they knew live's of their administrator's were at stake
allight - 07.05.2007, 15:49
Post subject:
And with the perserverance and diligence of the "they can accomplish anything" Crusher membership they did find Krypto and after some conterversial water boarding they got him to confess where the password was. The problem was it was in Allight's (the cross dressing dealer) PC boxer shorts and the only person he would allow to access them was win4maw...
ALW01 - 07.05.2007, 18:16
Post subject:
win4maw, this is the moment, the reason why you were born.
Now is your chance
Heeeeerrroooo!!!!
spookth - 07.05.2007, 18:52
Post subject:
Although very apprehensive about putting her hands down allights boxers, maw knew that in order to save the day, she would have to do the unthinkable. Maw reached her hands dow allights Poker-Crush boxers and began her search. Maw searched for a considerable amount of time and was having a HARD time finding it. Maw continued her search of those PC Drawers, she searched and she searched......then she searched some more. It was clear to all of witnessing this thorough frisking that allight was willing to let her search for an eternity. Then all at once a realization struck win4maw, she shreaked" We've been tricked....he doesn't have the password at all!!!". Allight just had a kind of a satisfied smirk on his face as he turned and ran into the woods singing this song.
Put your hads down my drawers win4maw,
It only weighs a quarter of a pound,
There's hair all around it like a turkey,
And I love it when you rub it up and down.
allight - 07.05.2007, 18:58
Post subject:
lmaoooooooooooo..............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bower50 - 07.05.2007, 20:32
Post subject:
Maw was furious and embarrassed.She put on her new thigh high red boots and started kicking.When she booted ALW something fell from his pocket.It was a piece of paper with some letters and numbers.Could it be possible?ALW a plant by Bee!!!
PokerGuru - 07.05.2007, 21:55
Post subject:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My dearest PCers!
When I say you all are the greatest, everybody who reads this story will now know why!
I want them to know that you started this story all on your own, Valeria leading and the rest loyally "following suit" to keep the site going while I had to be away for an important pro game to assure my place in this year's WSOP.
ALL ON THEIR OWN!! No wonder the family known as Poker-Crush is and always will be #1 in the poker world!
I don't believe I have ever seen such a beautiful display of loyalty!!!! It does more than just warm my heart. It sets my heart on fire and makes me more determined than ever to devote every bit of my poker knowledge to helping these poker scholars, AMAZING group that they are, become pros if that should be their desire.
I TRULY LOVE YOU ALL! And I am not one bit ashamed to make that proclamation in public! Your loyalty is returned in kind! I am yours! For as long as you want and will have me.
Furthermore, your writing skills, also, are improving more and more! Putting it all together (all your stories) for publication is in the back of my mind.
I think you ALL should publisize this story and get as many people as possible to read it, because it is GOOOOOOD!
I hope you are also informing people like Maw and Geno and others who are characters in the story. I also think you should bring in more Crushers as characters!
Again, you are abssolutely amazing!!!!!
Your VERY fortunate PokerGuru
char1984 - 09.05.2007, 07:59
Post subject:
Great story to come back to after being gone....you crushers are a blast
valeria - 09.05.2007, 23:21
Post subject:
OMG! I decided to be sick for a few days and come back to Maw rubbing people down ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLL When I get my sanity back and get over the shock I will add some more input hahahahahahahahh Right now you have me all flabbergasted and at a loss for word... yes me! A loss for words hahahahaha
Bee12o3 - 10.05.2007, 04:51
Post subject:
HAHAHAHA!!! I love this guys! OMG I just cannot stop laughing.
Bower you should have told me the story was going on and on. I would have made a better effort to spend a few mins. each day adding to the story too. You guys have done a wonderful job, the humor has be in tears from laughing so hard.
I'll be bringing Kat, Kyrpto and Piet around to read this.
One thing........ where is The Guru, Royal Crush and OC at now?
Krypto - 10.05.2007, 11:21
Post subject:
Bee12o3 wrote: › HAHAHAHA!!! I love this guys! OMG I just cannot stop laughing.
Bower you should have told me the story was going on and on. I would have made a better effort to spend a few mins. each day adding to the story too. You guys have done a wonderful job, the humor has be in tears from laughing so hard.
I'll be bringing Kat, Kyrpto and Piet around to read this.
One thing........ where is The Guru, Royal Crush and OC at now?
LMAO! This story is hilarious! You guys have a great sense of humor and knack for suspense...LOL! I keep wondering what's going to happen next. Glad Ms. Bee told us about this...it was a great read with my morning coffee.
Nice meeting all of you that I don't already know!
spookth - 11.05.2007, 21:10
Post subject:
ALW had a look of surprise on his face, as though he had never seen the paper before. The writing was very KRYPTIC in nature. A series of letters and numbers that we all knew would take some very serious thought to decipher.this is the message that was written!
R!EKKLOAPWRDORFASOLBETHHTGRUEODHNTUSOTTOPLYSRRKO3F0S2I1KECEUBL
spookth - 11.05.2007, 21:22
Post subject:
Spook, Bower, Kaska, Beckie and Win4maw a very long time to figure it out. ALW was no longer with them because they weren't sure if they could trust him any longer, and figured it was best to be on the safe side and decipher the code without him.(Just in case) Kaska had the idea to see if the code made any sense read backwards. Then Beckie wondered if it would do any good to read every second character. Nothing seemed to work.
spookth - 11.05.2007, 21:33
Post subject:
Just then Allight re-emerged from the woods with a strangely satisfied look on his face, and he seemed completely enthralled with Maw in her new red boots. Maw didnt return the affection though and stood behind Bower and Spook ,for protection I suppose, because Allight really was giving her up and down!!! As Allight looked over the mysterious lettering Lori212 showed up and studied the message also. Lori suggested we read the message backwards and every second letter at the same time. A message started to appear.
Luck is for slots Thought is for Poker
We knew then that this was a message written by the Guru. The second time through the message revealed this.
Bee1203 Krypto Under The Boardwalk
That was it. The four members of our administration were not being held ON THE BOARDWALK.....they were being held UNDER THE BOARDWALK!!!
kaska321 - 11.05.2007, 22:14
Post subject: lol
It is to loud in my household to read and understand any of it....
will be back later :-) The only thing I did notice... I am not included in search for Guru ,why ? 
Bower50 - 11.05.2007, 22:14
Post subject:
As we were discussing how to get Under The Boardwalk Bee entered.Bee pleaded with us to forgive what she did because Krpto forced her hand by telling her she could have no more poker tournies thru GOTB unless she cooperated.They wanted Poker-Crush off line.Bee said the password to Under The Boardwalk was KittyKat.Now we had to discuss strategy.
spookth - 12.05.2007, 21:40
Post subject:
Actually Kaska, check the last post on page 4....you are very much involved in the rescue mission....we would never leave you out !!LOL
allight - 13.05.2007, 00:47
Post subject:
Poker strategy, Bower, or strategy how to get maw back in my boxer shorts? lol
Bower50 - 13.05.2007, 03:41
Post subject:
Whatever turns your crank Al.
ALW01 - 14.05.2007, 18:56
Post subject:
Is it all over for trusty trio?
Will bee12o3 conquer the poker world?
Will Bower50 and his merry band of poker purist's win the battle of the baize?
Will kaska321 ever play leading lady?
Can win4maw really walk in those boot's?
Can allight really walk in those short's without them pinching?
Can spookth ever take his eye's off allight's tight butt?
Tune into Poker-Crush.com for the next series of..........
kaska321 - 17.05.2007, 18:50
Post subject: lol
Such a nice story... and I miss a lot of it... I was so crazy busy lately.
So, are we still looking for our Guru , or maybe we can run PC by ourselves from now on .... nope, bad idea I need more poker lessons for sure :-)
ALW01 - 17.05.2007, 19:46
Post subject:
Immediately after Bower50 mentioned stratagy. Kaskia in all her magnificent glory burst in and cried
What are we waiting for , we know our stratagy.
WIN,WIN,WIN
Bower50 - 18.05.2007, 02:12
Post subject:
We are all winners at poker so I guess it's back to the tables for a real old Texas Holdem winner-take-all tourny.We need lotsa members from both forums partaking in it so let's start recruiting.Everyone who wants to play start posting and adding to the story.That means GOTB too,so Krypto get your troops over here.We need lotsa input to make this the tourny of the century.Remember what we're playing for.Our infamous Guru,Geno,OC and Royal.
To start off we need someone to set the scene for the tourny.
royalblush - 26.05.2007, 23:26
Post subject:
I agree all the way, Bower! It is URGENT!
We need more writers and repeat writers because we MUST find and play for them!!!!
And I am ESPECIALLY concerned about our newest admin, RoyalCrush!
roflmaoooooooo!
royalblush
ALW01 - 27.05.2007, 23:45
Post subject:
As the plot thickens just like Grandma's famous onion gravy,
ALW scratches his head in a state of total and utter confusion and dares to ask the tuppence-ha'penny, the thre'penny-bit, and the two'n'sixpence question's?,
Are we gonna risk it,
For a chocolate biscuit?,
Would we be able to do it,
For a banana chewit?,
and....
Can we save the sinking ship,
For a strawberry sherbet dip?
Let the person who can figure these questions out step forward, and without delay, post us our instruction's.
valeria - 28.05.2007, 01:34
Post subject:
Guys and Gals... you have made this story excellent! I am sorry I have not contributed as much since from the beginning but I have been "out of touch" sort of!
Keep it up and hope we find our Guru and staff all healthy and safe!
I will try to jump in soon when my brain starts to function again!
Continue PLEASE 
ALW01 - 28.05.2007, 07:14
Post subject:
Hi Valeria,
Hope your back in touch and doing okay,
Your wonderful down to earth sense of humour and dry wit were noticeably absent and surely missed by all
welcome back
Your friends
All times are GMT
Powered by phpBB 2.0 .0.16 © 2001
phpBB
Group